I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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