The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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