The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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