dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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