Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
