thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
