You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
