alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
