i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would fuck him just for his dog
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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