Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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