This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
