are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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