dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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