Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The air was thick with penises
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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