Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
