So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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