I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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