Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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