he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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