So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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