So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
