Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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