break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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