if i can run in heels then i can drive
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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