I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
