I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you never un-have a 4some
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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