I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
