Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
