In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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