these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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