marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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