the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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