Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
