I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
