Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
