whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
