Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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