she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
