i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
