Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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