okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
