just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
