i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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