you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize