remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
