did you get engaged???
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
