just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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