She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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