Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
