I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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