Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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