yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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