Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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