Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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