remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
