she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
