That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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