The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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